


Misunderstanding

by ReaperWitch



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Hazawa Tsugumi, sayo is a walking day disaster, trans tsugu is precious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26651560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaperWitch/pseuds/ReaperWitch
Summary: Tsugumi goes clothes shopping with Sayo, but she assumes wrong.
Relationships: Hazawa Tsugumi/Hikawa Sayo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33
Collections: Transdori Week 2020





	Misunderstanding

A really beautiful Sunday, just as she expected. Or, at least, she hoped, because one can't predict the weather with exact precision, not even the weather man. Maybe Hina-senpai, she always guessed it right nine out of ten times. But Hina-senpai was considered a genius, so it wasn't strange that she could do such things as…

Heck. She was nervous.

Tsugumi's mind always went to strange places whenever she felt like that, like a self-defense mechanism to distract her brain. Sometimes it gave her ideas for a manga, and sometimes… well, delusions about her crush.

The same girl that was walking right next to her at that same moment.

After the cooking class, she and Sayo started to hang out more often, until they ended up going out at least once a week. Tsugumi didn't notice at first, but she started developing feelings for Sayo. The older girl was beautiful, irradiating such a cool aura that made her heart skip a beat. But she also had a cute side she recently discovered, one that she was sure only a few people had seen. Tsugumi noticed the shine in her eyes when Sayo petted a dog, or the face she did when she ate fries. All of those were stored in a folder inside her brain.

Tsugumi liked Sayo, but she didn't know if Sayo liked her back.

She knew that Sayo liked girls, Hina told her not so long ago. Now that she thought about it, maybe it was her own way of telling her to go for it…? It was Hina, so who knows what happens inside her brain. But even with that information, Tsugumi didn't feel confident at all. She couldn't.

_Why was I born in this body…?_

Everyone close to her knew she was transgender, and they fully respected and supported it. She was so lucky to have such people as family and friends. Even Sayo knew. The teal-haired girl didn't mind that detail at all, reassuring her that she had always seen her as a girl, and that wouldn't change anything. But the brunette was still anxious. Sometimes, she caught Sayo looking at her with a stern face and frowning, but whenever they talked her expression was relaxed, with a smile on her face. That raised Tsugumi's doubts, and made her fear that Sayo was nice of her out of politeness...

This current outing was Moca and Himari's idea. Their plan was to get her to go out with Sayo with the excuse to help her pick some clothes, get Sayo to see her in more "feminine" and cute outfits and watch her reaction. And, in case she actually didn't mind, watch out for a possible crush on Tsugumi. Ran and Tomoe didn't say much, but the brunette knew they supported this idea. Not fully, but to some point.

But when Tsugumi noticed her phone in Moca's sneaky hands she knew it was too late.

So there she was. At the mall, picking up clothes that would fit her style (and, hopefully, entice Sayo). The teal-haired girl was looking around next to her, mostly talking about cooking and music. Tsugumi enjoyed their conversations, whatever the topic was. Her presence was really comfortable, even in those moments when they didn't have anything else to say, basking in the silence that followed.

The brunette saw Sayo looking at the shirt rack with an interested expression.

"Sayo-san, do you want to pick something for yourself, too?", she asked.

"Huh, no… I am good for now. I'm not used to going to fancy stores."

"Where do you go shopping, then?"

"I go to cheap stores and pick whatever looks comfortable. I don't have time to pick up good clothes."

"That's not good, Sayo-san!", the brunette shouted, surprising the other girl. "You have to take care of your appearance as well! You have good looks, 

Well, her mouth just made things uncomfortable.

"I… I mean, we can look around for something for you too, now that we are here…"

The older girl coughed and shook her head. "I-it is fine, we are here to find some clothes for you, after all. But… I wouldn't mind if we came here another day…"

Tsugumi smiled, but after seeing Sayo's frown she got worried. She invited her, but she didn't look happy at all…? 

"O-of course! I'm looking forward to it!"

Maybe she was imagining things.

While they were talking, Tsugumi finally found something she liked: a blue sweater, a brown skirt and a brown and amber dress. The dress was particularly cute: it had a pair of ribbons on the side, and she could put it together with the beret she had at home.

Suddenly, Sayo's phone rang up.

"My apologies, Tsugumi-san, but I have to take this. I will be back soon."

"No worries! Take your time."

Sayo gave her a soft smile and walked away. The brunette kept looking for something else, in case she missed something. Suddenly, one of the employees in the shop approached her, a woman with dirty blonde hair.

"Excuse me, sir, do you need any help?"

_Sir._

"I, huh…"

"The men's section is right there. This is the women's section. If you're looking for a gift…"

Tsugumi tried to give her an explanation, an excuse at least, but her thoughts got blocked by the panic she suddenly felt. I mean, it wasn't a big deal to tell her the truth, right…? People were more accepting these days...

"Good afternoon. My friend here was looking for a dress, but we are just looking around". Sayo appeared out of nowhere next to the saleslady. Her voice had the same tone she used whenever she scolded Ako. The woman looked a bit confused at first, and Tsugumi feared the worst: calling security, the police, or banning them from entering the store forever. But, instead, she made a surprised expression and smiled. "Of course! If you need anything, please let me know". And with that, she walked away.

Tsugumi let out the air she didn't know she was holding.

"Thank you, Sayo-san…"

Sayo shrugged. "Don't mention it. People can get confused."

She said it like it wasn't a big deal, but Tsugumi could sense a somber tone in her voice. Was she annoyed?

The brunette felt a bit bad. Sayo had to stood up for her, and she probably didn't like that. Sayo was pretty straightforward, maybe she expected her to be like that.

Tsugumi sighed. Her good mood was slowly going away.

* * *

"I'm done, Sayo-san!", she shouted, as she removed the curtain to reveal herself wearing the sweater and the skirt. Sayo was in front of her, with her arms crossed. She had… a stiff face? And she looked like she was elsewhere. Her eyes were locked in place, directly into her own.

"How… how is it…?"

Sayo nodded. "It's good". And that's it. Nothing else.

"Oh… okay". She waited a few seconds to see if her partner would say something else, anything. But she stood there, with her arms crossed. Frowning. "I-I'll go change now…" and Sayo nodded as a reply. 

The anxiety in Tsugumi's chest started to raise. Maybe she was right all along. Sayo was trying to be nice to her, but she was actually uncomfortable around her. The brunette looked at the dress, and wondered if it was a good idea to try it on. No, not giving up now! Even if Sayo didn't like it, she would do it for herself!

"H-how do I look, Sayo-san?", Tsugumi asked, after coming out with the dress on, trying with all her might to keep her voice steady. The dress was a bit… short. Not too short, but it showed a lot of leg.

The other girl was looking at her. Her eyes went up and down, like she was scanning everything. That made her blush, but she waited for her reply. Sayo's face was also red, but Tsugumi didn't notice it.

"Sayo-san?"

"Huh? Ah, yeah, it looks… good.", Sayo mumbled, averting her eyes. "I… I think it suits you…?"

Another answer like that. Awkward. Strange. Mumbling.

Without expecting another word, she went back into the fitting room and started to undress.

_Sayo looks like she's struggling… maybe she doesn't want to be impolite? Maybe I don't actually look good in this…_

_Maybe she's disgusted because I'm trans._

She saw her bare in the mirror, with the exception of her underwear. She saw her body, the body Sayo saw in those clothes. A wave of repulsiveness went up her stomach. She understood why Sayo wouldn't look at her. Those barely inexistent breasts, that noticeable Adam's apple, those rough fingers… Tsugumi never had to deal a lot with dysphoria, but now she was having an attack.

Sayo would never love something like her.

While she dressed up, tears started to run down her cheeks. A single thought repeated in her head. _Run. Run away from her. She will be happy if you're not around._

_Run._

And that's what she did.

She took off, passing by an astonished Sayo who tried to call her. She didn't know where she was going, but she went full speed, apologizing every time she passed next to a random bystander. When she finally stopped to catch her breath, she was at the park in front of the mall.

Why did she run away? God, she felt so stupid. Dumb. Now Sayo will hate her for sure. And she left her things in the store, and she was so ashamed that she didn’t think she couldn’t get back there anymore. Such a scene she made.

She sat down on one of the benches that were away from the park’s path to avoid the people walking by. How stupid. She should have noticed earlier that Sayo didn’t even want to be around her. Sayo had been nice to her up to this point, but only because she thought she needed to. Maybe out of pity. Yeah, that was it. A pitiful, ordinary trans girl. That was Tsugumi Hazawa for you. Hugging her legs, she buried her head in them and started crying.

"Tsugumi-san…?"

She looked up, to the Sayo in front of her, sweating and panting. Like she was running until moments ago. She was holding the bag she left in the fitting room.

"Tsugumi-san?! Are you okay? Are you hurt?", the older girl kneeled right in front of her. Tsugumi shaked her head.

"Why did you run away?", Sayo asked. "Did that lady back there make you uncomfortable? Or was it…?"

Tsugumi moved her head again, denying it.

The other girl kept her eyes on her, and sat down to her side. No-one said anything, they remained in silence for minutes until Tsugumi couldn't take it.

"You… you don't need to lie to me to make me feel better, Sayo-san…"

Sayo was surprised. "Me? Lie to you? Why do you say that?"

"B-because whenever we talked, you looked u-uncomfortable... like you didn't want to be with me… and when I tried new clothes… you wouldn't say a word, or you would look away… and you were making such an awkward face…" Tsugumi swallowed, trying to compose herself. "I don't want to force you to be my friend…"

"You're wrong!", Sayo shouted. Tsugumi jumped in place, surprised. "My apologies. I didn't not mean to shout… I should give you a proper explanation for my behavior."

"As you might have heard, I am a pretty straightforward and strict person, and that is why I have never had any friendships until I joined the band… that's why social interactions are still a bit awkward for me. I don't know how to make compliments or react to these situations…". Sayo sighed. "But I want to reassure you, I have never felt awkward when we were together. Not even now. I… enjoy hanging out with you, Tsugumi-san". Her face became beet red while she looked at the ground. "I don't mind what your prefered gender is, I will respect it-"

"Sayo-san!", Tsugumi exclaimed, embracing Sayo into a hug. Her eyes started to tear up again. "I'm so sorry! I jumped to conclusions, I should've trusted you more…"

Sayo's voice was shaky. "I-it's fine, Tsugumi-san! I can understand that I might have given you the wrong signals…"

"You don't have to apologize, Sayo-san!", Tsugumi raised her head to look at her directly into her eyes. "I'm the one at fault here."

"N-no, I'm the one who…"

"I insist-"

Their faces were close. Really close.

It took Tsugumi a full second to realize what she was doing before she pulled away, letting her crush go. "I-I'm sorry!", she said, blushing.

"I-it's okay, I don't mind…", Sayo mumbled.

After composing herself and realizing she was just _inches_ away from kissing Sayo, Tsugumi giggled. The guitarist turned around to look at her with a confused expression.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just… we're helpless, aren't we?", Tsugumi cleaned her tears, now of happiness.

Sayo giggled softly. "I guess you're right. We should be more forward with each other."

"Yeah!", Tsugumi said. "By the way, I just remembered…"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you look away when I showed you the dress?"

Suddenly, Sayo blushed.

"N-no reason, I… I just thought you looked really good in that outfit and I… I didn't know what face to make..."and then she looked away.

Tsugumi's cheeks matched Sayo's.

"A-anyways, we should get going!", the older girl stood up quickly, turning around to give Tsugumi a hand. "It's getting late."

Despite everything, Tsugumi smiled. She was so glad it was just a misunderstanding she almost hugged Sayo again. And the way Sayo's face turned red when she mentioned the dress… she didn't imagine that, right?

When she stood up, Tsugumi hugged Sayo's arm in a sudden brave move.

"Hey, Sayo-san", Tsugumi looked up to her, smiling. "Do you want to stop somewhere else before we go home?"

Sayo returned the smile, but the redness of their cheeks betrayed their embarrassment. "O-of course. Where would you want to go?"

"Hmm, let's see…"

* * *

After Sayo saw Tsugumi off at home, the brunette sat on the bed completely happy with herself. The dress she went back to the store to purchase was next to her. She could wear it the next time Sayo and her hanged out. Or save it for when they finally go on a date Although their outings were more date-like with every passing day…

She still wasn't entirely sure if Sayo liked her back… but there were a few things she didn't notice before. The way she addressed her, the smiles, their comfortable silences… her comment about the dress.

Maybe she should try to be more bold around Sayo, after all~.

**Extra: Sayo's thoughts at Tsugumi's clothes**

_I think I can handle this. Calm down, Sayo, you're just clothes shopping with a_ friend _. Oh, Tsugumi is do- oh fuck fuck fuck oh no she looks astonishing oh no fuck she's so cute calm down Sayo she's looking at you weird she's going to think you're a freak change your face just don't smile noooooo. Okay, settle down already. It's not a big deal, when she comes out again just say she looks good and everything will be good. Don't be so obvious. Okay, here she comes- oh, oh no that one is too adorable and she's blushing aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

**Author's Note:**

> just kiss already you morons


End file.
